Hogwarts Herald

The Letters from No One is by far one of my favorite chapters in this book. It opens with Harry finishing up his punishment for the escape of the boa constrictor. The summer holidays have already started and Harry is doing his best to avoid Dudley and his gang. He is excited about only one thing. He will finally not be going to the same school as Dudley. It seems the little beast has been accepted at his fathers old school, Smeltings. Harry, of course, is not that special and is going to be attending the local public school. All is going as usual, until one day when Harry is sent to check the mail…

“Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets.”

At the slot, Harry sees three things. A postcard from Aunt Marge, a bill, and a letter. Addressed to him. Very specifically addressed to him, as it actually says “The Cupboard under the Stairs” as part of the address. Just as he opens it, Dudley jumps up snitching that Harry has gotten something in the mail. Uncle Vernon snatches the letter from Harry and reads it. As he does his face goes from red, to green, then to a pale pasty white. This letter, written on thick parchment, in emerald green ink, is something obviously very upsetting.

Kicking both boys out of the room, Uncle Vernon discusses with Aunt Petunia what should be done. Stating that they vowed that they would “stamp out that dangerous nonsense” when they took him in, they choose to ignore the letter in the hopes that whoever sent it will decide it’s not that important after all. They then tell Harry that the letter was not for him after all, but they do want to move him up into Dudley’s second bedroom. After all, whoever sent the letter knows where he is sleeping. The next day, when the post arrives, there is another letter. Also destroyed by Uncle Vernon, who then decides to nail the mail slot closed. The next day, Friday, a dozen letters are pushed through the spaces under and around the door itself. Uncle Vernon goes to the extreme measures of nailing both front and back doors closed completely. Saturday arrives, and there are 24 letters hidden within each of the eggs in a brand new carton, delivered by the dairy man through the kitchen window. Finally Sunday arrives. Uncle Vernon has gone completely mad, and is pulling out his mustache by the roots. He is smiling though, because there is no post on Sundays. Just as he utters these words though, he is hit in the back of the head with a letter, sent through the fireplace. Soon they are flying throughout the room, dozens of them shooting out of the fireplace, seemingly unstoppable.

It’s time for Uncle Vernon to take a stand, and that stand is to get all of them out of that house. He makes them all pack up some clothes and get into the car. Dudley is devastated. He has never been treated so badly, first he wasn’t able to read his cousin’s letter, and now he has to leave when there are shows he wants to watch. His world has gone topsy turvy! Uncle Vernon hauls them out of their house, and drives for hours, finally settling on a seedy motel. After a restless night of sleep the man at the front desk shows them a letter, on thick parchment, in that familiar emerald green ink, addressed to Harry. Uncle Vernon loses it completely.

He again packs them all up, and starts driving again. Every now and again he will stop at some random place, get out of the car, look around, and then get back in and start driving again. Finally he arrives at the coast and buys something that comes in a long thin box wrapped in brown paper, along with some “provisions”. Dudley is asking his mother if Daddy’s gone mad, and reminding her that it’s Monday, and his program is on. This reminds Harry that if it is indeed Monday, his birthday is the next day. He will be 11 years old. Birthdays have never been a very big deal for him, as he never really gets anything for them anyway, but it is a birthday nonetheless. Finally Uncle Vernon returns to the car, with said package, and tells them he has found just the place.

He points them at a rocky island a way off shore, with a rickety shack on top of it. There is supposed to be a storm tonight, and Uncle Vernon is sure nobody can get Harry his letters there. Unfortunately, Harry agrees, and resigns himself to not getting the letters. His only hope left is that when they get home the house will be so full of letters that he will be able to sneak one. They make it to the shack and everyone lays down for the night, Uncle Vernon & Aunt Petunia in the bedroom, Dudley on the couch, and Harry trying to find comfort on the cold hard floor. Laying there, unable to sleep, Harry stares at his cousin’s wristwatch. Counting down the minutes, and finally seconds, until he turns 11. Three… Two… One…

BOOM. Someone’s at the door…